Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Family Madman Found Dead: Short Fiction


Family Madman Found Dead



Noted supervillain and family man, Doctor Professor Putrid, passed away Friday night at age seventy-two after a long struggle with the forces of justice.

Putrid was raised on a floating island above the South Pacific by his maternal grandparents, the notorious spousal evildoers known as the Exterminators. He spent his childhood being schooled in evildoing by his grandparents. He routinely migrated across the globe, spending his summers in a hidden moon base.

After leaving the fortress in 1968, he earned dual PHDs in particle physics and political science from Nefario University and embarked upon his lifelong dream of attempting to destroy and/or rule the entire universe. Or the planet, depending on how things work out. Though he frequently worked alone, he nurtured a fruitful collaboration with the Consortium of Evil in the mid-1970s, as well as a long partnership with the noted necrologist Fleshwarp.

On working with the doctor, Fleshwarp said, “He was brilliant and evil, with an attention do detail that you just don’t see anymore.” He then launched into a long-winded rant about the corporate nature of wrongdoing in the modern age, which has been omitted due to the harsh language peppered throughout.

The Doctor, best known for his plot in the early ‘80s to boil the ocean with space-based lasers, and the, “‘Hamburg Affair’” that brought down three continental parliaments, was also a beloved lecturer at his Alma Mater. Colleagues recall him arriving early for classes at the university’s undisclosed location to entertain other students with tale of daring plots and narrow escapes from justice. Nefario University announced through their Web site that his position as Head of the Department of Chaos will be renamed the Putrid Chair of Entropy in his honor. 

Survivors include his wife, former foe Malfeasia, (nee Justice Girl), and their two children, Menace and Terror. In lieu of WMDs, the family requests donations to the Armageddon Project, a non-profit organization providing diabolical enrichment to the evil-minded children of plutocrats, a cause with which Putrid was involved for many years. Services will be held Saturday, June 25, at the Chapel of Eternal Torment, at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

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